Things I did wrong today: Let me just add “weather god” to my list of attributes, because apparently it’s my fault that the mercury was too high and it wasn’t a comfortable temperature for a stroll. Unfortunately we have a dog whose energy is only matched by a toddler on e-numbers, so walking is non-negotiable… Read more

By anyone’s standards, it is HOT. The PM is feeling the burn so much that he actually resigned yesterday. Our Great British train tracks are doing their usual thing and buckling under the pressure of seasonal weather changes. And most of us are trying not to frazzle in the sun, because we are still emerging… Read more

Ahh, toddlerhood. That golden age between one and two, where your child argues with you in a language known only to them, staggering around like a drunk uncle at a wedding, zero balance yet somehow capable of covering more distance than the fastest land mammal. Do I go to the gym? No hun, I run… Read more

I wear a lot of hats. Chef, chauffeur, dog walker, tantrum referee, ball thrower, puzzle completer, block stacker… *draws breath* One of my top jobs as mum of an almost-two-year old (IYKYK) is on-demand entertainer. I like to believe my singing voice resembles a slightly husky Taylor Swift (my husband likely disagrees with this, but… Read more

Toddlers need a lot of steering in the right direction.  I mean that literally as well as figuratively. They stagger about like tiny drunks then look at you, outraged, when an inanimate object trips them up. They do gross things, like trying to eat pre-chewed gum they found stuck to a table. They have zero… Read more

What do you do when your toddler will only eat from Tom Kerridge’s M&S Gastropub range? Now, I love a pre-done dinner. Little Dishes are welcome in our fridge: they probably make up 65-70% of my weekly food shop. In fact I’m embarrassingly proud when I manage to scratch-cook something my child will eat.  HOWEVER.… Read more

For someone who has limited life experience and a tenuous grasp of the English language, he knows how to stick the knife in. Toddlers are gloriously unaware of social protocol and are quite happy to point out that you’ve eaten one too many creme eggs over the Easter holidays (and you chomp on your food… Read more

Have you ever packed a suitcase for a toddler? It goes a little like this: Babies grow so FAST. One moment they’re drowning in 0-3 month babygros and the next they’re strutting around, pot belly in a string vest, acting like they own the place and demanding snacks. Basically beer louts minus the booze. You… Read more

Toddlers, man. They’re like tiny CEOs, in charge of everything and prone to throwing their toys out of the pram for unexplained reasons. God forbid you give them a food they loved yesterday, because they HATE IT AND HAVE ALWAYS HATED IT. Sorry, I didn’t realise you had such strong feelings about Dairylea on toast.… Read more