Returning my toddler to the freezer

By anyone’s standards, it is HOT. The PM is feeling the burn so much that he actually resigned yesterday. Our Great British train tracks are doing their usual thing and buckling under the pressure of seasonal weather changes. And most of us are trying not to frazzle in the sun, because we are still emerging from the depths of the LONGEST WINTER EVER.

So yeah. Not a comfortable week in Old Blighty. And nobody is feeling it more than my two year old. I was led to believe that babies couldn’t sweat. Perhaps he no longer qualifies for that category but I’m pretty sure this boy has been dripping saltwater since he arrived. He hates the heat, he has always hated the heat, he will forever hate the heat. 

Which leads me to my main question. Do a baby’s origins have a bearing on their temperature tolerance? Do the blanket-donners among us start out in toastier conditions? Do the heat-haters come from cooler climes? And what of the annoying people who deem themselves “fine” whatever the weather?

Here is my theory. My son is an IVF baby. He came from rather icy beginnings in a vat of liquid nitrogen, in which he was frozen for about 4 months. Ergo, he wishes at all times to return to the freezer whence he came. Which is why 40 degree weather is enough to melt him into a sad little puddle of sweat and ice lolly juice. Watertight scientific theorising right there.

And with that, we’re off to wander down the decimated frozen aisle at Aldi until they close. Stay cool everyone.